3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
