she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
did i walk over a car last night?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
