im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
