Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
