hotel room ftw
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Mom said you looked used
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
