just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
