taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
