Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
