this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
