I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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