i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
