i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
my poor anus
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
