i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
