It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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