i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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