He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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