Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
