physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i came on her dog
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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