His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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