My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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