I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
