This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
