I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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