There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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