I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
