so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
