You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
did i just pee glitter
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
