my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
