I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
