When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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