I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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