Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
