It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
