Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
