So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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