Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
