So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
