Well douche your snatch and let's go!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
