Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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