If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
