Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
