when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
