Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
