your thong is hanging out like whoa
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
