just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
