Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
