I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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