Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
