Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
