I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
