What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
