well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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