remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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