I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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