that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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