ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
