You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
