i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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